Actually wrote this blog entry on October 1st while babysitting … .. while everyone else was at a wedding… seems to be the story of my life… everyone goes to all these weddings… the last wedding invitation i got was 6 months late… from a great family I’ve known for a few  years.. and it would have been in Switzerland… … weird isn’t it how i didn’t get the invitation….  If i thought someone had actually kept the invitation from me that would have been so selfish.. and so mean… don’t you think?….   Oh well… I had a great childhood someone once told me…  but I  bet it would have been great… would have been fun to look up a bunch of people i had once gone to school with in France… to check out Europe for a while… yes… would have been great…

But……. What if…. ( hypothetical of course..) what if an experiment occurred where you never got to speak with your friends and family.. I mean you picked up the phone thinking you were speaking to the people who love you,  who want the best for you, who have your back.. and who like you… I mean really enjoy speaking with you.. like hanging out with you …. like the way you think.. make you laugh and actually genuinely like you… you know…. real friends... genuine friends…   hell they love you… they would protect you for any harm.. some would even give up their life for you.. I mean those genuine friends… you can count on if there was an emergency at 4am… if you needed anything .. they would be there for you… no questions…  who know you to the core of your being.. ( do you have those people in mind the ones in your own life…) well… now say what if you pick up the phone expecting to be able to bear your soul with these trusted and beloved friends and family .. except someone to validate your life choices.. to be a  true friend.. and instead you get your enemy.. not just any enemy.. but a real evil enemy.. the kind who would probe you for your darkest secrets.. so they can use them against you.. or probe you for your wishes and dreams so they can purposely make sure that your dreams are destroyed… and what if it just wasn’t one person .. just one enemy.. but a group of bullies… or a family of your enemies… the people who would go to any lengths to discourage your dreams to make any choices you make into the wrong choices.. people who would make you look horrid and belittle you perhaps even bully you or harass you who had the power to manipulate your choices just by not allowing you to speak with your true friends.. or who had the power to ruin not only relationships but entire businesses… and opportunities… they had the power to ruin you hopes  and dreams .. to lie to you..to cheat you for your destiny.. basically to ruin your life… the power to manipulate your life in ways you could never imagine in your worst nightmare…

 and what if  these same people on the phone have this power over you.. where they can use it for making your life better.. use it for great and wonderful uses…  the power to better your life… but instead of using this power of communication.. of connection to people… they use it for their own selfish advantage… they isolate someone … they choose to ruin all the relationships all those years of building really wonderful relationships… of building real friends…. of sharing not only daily moments but hopes and dreams.. together with family and friends.. of even being able to connect with new people… and not just any people.. but people you would choose to give your phone number to.. because you enjoyed their conversation.. or you may like him as more than a friend…  and want to get to know him better…. you know those people you bring into your life… who you would  actually like.. who you would welcome into your life as real genuine new friends…  friends.. who you could begin  to build relationships with …

Is there or would there be a name for such people?  you know… some type of impostor .. someone who pretends to be a  friend but in reality is the enemy….other than ” frienemy” ( no idea if that is anywhere close to being spelled correctly… ) 

 but How damaging could such a manipulation be in one persons life?  How devastating and so invasive into a person’s thoughts and hopes and dreams… it is worse what?   reading  a personal diary to find out information some evil person can use it against another individual…  don’t you think? to not only find out that  your closest confident is tying to ruin you life.. and your reputation.. but not by mistake or some accident .. but actually doing the destruction of  a life on purpose.. with intent.. with the intent to inflict emotional pain or harm…  Harming you and tainting and destroying you with every conversation… you have with them… 

Would you ever be able to trust again?.. or love and be the same friend that you were before?
Would  such a betrayal ever be forgiven?

 Who would take responsibility for desstroying the origional relationships and friendships that were destroyed and lost… yes LOST … you can’t get back years of conversations… of moments.. of memories… just think about it… everything would be a lie…  the person victimized by this cruel joke… or experiment… would miss out on birthdays… on holidays… on everything that makes up a real and genuine,  wonderful,  life…all those moments that you can never get back…

 never ever… get to hold a spontaneous conversation/or enjoy a moment in time…  with a friend who tells you something funny and you get to laugh even though  they don’t think it is funny…  

the spontaneous moments in life that are real and genuine … that can’t be duplicated …  even in movies… or in writing …. they cant be captured.. not like real life moments….  moments that happen in real life sometimes cant be repeated and be made to look so real…. the point is they are a part of a real person;s real life…. the laughter the tears.. the memories.. smells…. sounds .. everything…

the relationships that existed  before this “joke” would be halted… the goals would or might be stopped or even worse yet be destroyed… the life and dreams that nver got to happen… just for substituting lies for truth.. and messing up conversations over the phone….

And as for the consequences or aftermath…  how the hell can you fix all the lies that were ever told.. history would be changed…. families would never be the same… the life you or your family were supposed to have would’ve been altered so much by so many lies… how could it be healed or fixed…. all the damage… what would be the actual cost of such deception….

O>K> what a horrible experiment what and absolutely worthless and  pointless way to ruin a life.. a family and relationships between friends…  just watched a bit of a movie the Reece Witherspoon and her husband.. or i guess now x-husband… where a bet is made between a brother and step sister.. a few bets actually… lives were ruined… gosh ..  what was that movie called… anyway… manipulation of anyone.. controlling another person’s life…. their vehicle /mode of communication… anyone’s life… their  moments /relationships/ controlling their destiny… all pretty evil /manipulated.. and horrid! almost seems to be a breach of a persons freedom… inalienable rights…  the pursuit of freedom and happiness… what is it .. life liberty and the pursuit of happiness…
 
Oh just  remembered the movie………………….CRUEL INTENTIONS>>>>>>>>>

 something to think about… right?  Could it really happen in real life…. is it happening now…

 O>K> Here it  is People I’ve attempted to contact and havent been able to reach… or find… and was jsut wonderfing how their lifee turned out… are they happy… did they become what they thought they woudl do in life.. did they dindih or complete those goals?… dreams?.. kinda of a where are you know type deal… 

 Rami Al Naimi: tried contacting this old fried from saudi… gosh knew him when i was pretty young… what possibly 13 or 14… and kept in touch in college…  

Allison Caroll:  my sorority big sis …. Kappa Alpha Theta… sweetest girl.. and sooo pretty had all the guys loving her…  was a transfer from  LSU… lcant seem to find her anywhere… 

Keff Keen big brother from Chi Phi ( U of F)….  think he got married  to  a girl  who was in one of the date picture si still hve somewhere….HA!

Dan Foley totaly lost track of him…. also my big brother form Chi PHI ( U of F)…. why did i have two big brothers… i cnat remember.. but all i do remember is that both of them were super sweet and super nice and woderful to me… 

Patti Berndt a friend i havent seenin ages… i htingk i spoke with her on the phone but havent actualy seen ro been able to hand out adnd see how wonderful life has gotten.. in ages… she was a very sweet and ince and wonderful person… i  kinda mis havign her as one of my really good great freinds
 

so i just paid again for e- harmony for another month of  e-harmony….  the total matches is 1269 matches for me… little old me… i still have yet to even met any of these guys…. or for that matter even talk to any of these men…. but i still have hope… right? 

so while i was reading through some of the profiles.. i found some very interesting descriptive adjectives for characteristics these men  were looking for in women and  some of them seemed like such great and descriptive adjectives i thought i would add the same or similar descriptions to my own list…

So here they are: 

witty
continue to expand knowledge
awareness
clarity of mind and purpose
can do spirit
 ( capable of true) intimacy
responsible citizenship
engaging personality
observant
help others realize and achieve their dreams
sweet
easy going
ambitious
dependable  
/

Beautiful day here in Naples.. excited that the film festival is here.. didn’t get to see as many films as i would have wanted to see… but since this is an annual thing.. hopefully next year i will get to see even more of them… went last night to go and see a late showing of Camelion….  it was a great movie but it got me a bit upset afterwards… guess it hit a little too close to home.. anyway…

Today is an new day right?….  and have already gone to church… yes up really early… then to the Ritz for a delicious croissant avec chocolat… YUMMMM and a scone…. YUMMMM  and to blog a bit.. and today hopefully will see a movie with a happy ending…. the title surviving hitler… doesn’t  sound like it could possibly have a happy ending… but who knows?.. maybe? .. the brochure says it will…  and it says it is based on a true story… and a love story… how hopeful to find love in such horrid circumstances…

I remember reading ann frank as a young girl… then going  to her house and museum when i was backpacking in europe..  and then with my family visiting a few of the concentration camps… I think i was something like 12-14 years old…… there is this one picture i took… that is actually really powerful… through a fence… maybe i will inset it into the album…. loved photography… when  i was backpacking took tons of pictures… some are pretty funny… me sitting really close to the edge on the leaning tower of pisa…  getting stuck in the metro  turn stile… with my backpack… when we first started in Paris…. mimicking.. some of the statues…. pictures you could only take when  you are 18/19…. at my age now… just wouldn’t be appropriate…. or as funny….great pictures when backpacking …. we traveled all the way around europe… made it  up to
Sweden and Denmark.. ( visiting  my friends thomas and Claes…. and heidi) and even to the greek islands… where one of many funny stories…. i was offered a place to live and a job.. by this older man….HA! me being soooooo nieve.. thinking  that IOS… was such a great island… thought it would  be nice for a summer retreat… i called my mom… she unequivocally told me to get back on the fairy… and to not even think about it! Glad she did say that…HA!  

Guess pictures  seem to always tell a  story……
but its nice to have the real story behind the pictures…. right? 
Anyway i highly recommend that everyone go backpacking  in europe after college… perfect time…dont you think.. before you have to go out into the world… get a normal job..   and what a wonderful experience  you will remember it forever…  think of the sights you will see.. the people you may meet… and the experiences you will have… hopefully al great and wonderful….

 I recited events and  stories,  showed pictures to  so many people… I hope i was able to convince some other people to take the  time to explore  create some wonderful memories and take the plunge into taking an adventure ……Just be careful and wise about traveling and about your surroundings….
and just do it!!! 
 
 I did the school in france after high school… then backpacking  during college….also a great time frame… Hell,… when isn’t it a wonderful time to go explore the world….. and  especially europe. …. meet great people and have great experiences…   when this college boyfriend had graduated from college with his finance degree… he even went on an adventure to europe…. My younger sister went on her trip  through europe during college… but then she had learned to ski in switzerland on one of the Aramco ski trips…. and was also traveling to and from boarding school with me when she was 14…..   i honestly hope everyone gets a chance..   

Speaking of traveling i think boarding school was really a great experience…. and traveling  as a “returning student”  was really a blast.. Gosh i could go on and on about memories… but one memory… almost getting snowed in zurich  with a group of “returning students”  HA! Seasoned international travelers by 15 years old..we were so ready to have a fun mini break… that credit card  sworn to be used only for emergencies…HA! needless to say the weather changed and we were able to get back to saudi without our small  detour… but there are so many other stories of flights with other returning students…  just think if you can … travel and go to different  cities.. countries and meet amazing people… it will change your prospective on the world.. on how you know and learn about people and will enrich your life more that you will ever know…. i have this one quote framed in my den … says something about having changed  after seeing the world from  the other side of the moon… when i get home i will put in the exact quote…
” I am not the same having seen  the moon shine on the other side of the world.”
but i believe it means that great and wonderful experiences will change your prospective and your entire life… and that travel will both enrich your life and  modify your entire prospective.. on everything. Also i believe that once your entire prospective is changed … it will never go back to its original dimension.. you know? . 
  

I have been saying a prayer to ST. JUDE  is you aren’t catholic .. st Jude is the patron saint for assistance when problems arise or when one seems to be deprived of all visible  help or for cases most despaired of…. Here is the entire prayer and the people i pray for each night…. according to the prayer as a novena you are to say this prayer for 9 days… and 6 times a day….( i personally say it most days 10 times a day… some days a bit less… but i have been saying this prayer and this exact petition since August 12th 2009…. the belief is that you will receive your intention before the nine days are over no matter what….

Please protect and remove from my life  all:  hackers, fakery, fraud, manipulation,
trespassers, bulling identity theft, impostors, con artists, and evil,
mean selfish, fake, manipulative people… any horrid selfish, mean
manipulative  people on the phone…  please protect me from any of the
evil people who have ruined any precious moments from the past 7 years
of my life… who stole 3 businesses and who manipulate my life my
family my friends, relationships,  reputation and  have tried ruining
everything.. please grant me freedom from all evil people and their
selfish intentions.. and allow me to be blessed so i may use  the money
for great and wonderful uses in Jesus’s name i pray for all my
affirmation, wishes , goals and dreams to come true… Please dear God,  Please Grant me additional wonderful, generous, nice kind, nice genuine authentic multimillionaires with no issues or problems to be my friends, divine connections and mentors…

Our father:
Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, they kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our sins lead us not into temptation but deliver us from all evil  amen

who would have ever
thought that i would have had to pray for protection from all of
that?… i’d rather be able to pray just for blessings for all my friends.  I’m going to put part of this prayer on the other website /blog…
www.mysearchforjustice.com 

 at one point in the movie… Julia Roberts was looking at her pictures.. she quoted something like this:….. that “she actively participated in every aspect to creating this life…” 

the joke about and old Italian man who  was praying in front of a saint to win the lottery…. please please please buy a ticket the statue said….. 

so what if you keep buying the ticket but it always ends up being the wrong ticket… eventually will you get a winning ticket? 

So here is a question… who are the people who think it is better o lose everything?  I have actually been told by someone that it makes you more God like…WHAT?… HUH? that it makes you a better person to not have any material possessions to worry about? What? HUH?……I totally disagree …. i have had so many idiots try to ” Teach” me these life lessons that they themselves needed to learn..or thought they they needed to learn… . and yet they aren’t really great lessons to begin with…and not everyone needs to learn the same lessons….

like if you lose everything you just have to start over…. what is so great about starting over?  you can never achieve what you could have achieved had you been able to succeed from the start…maybe you will reach a level of success… but just think if you hadn’t had to start over where you could have been?….

WHEN YOU HAVE MORE YOU CAN DO MORE……

 For  E-harmony, one question is asked …. who are the most influential person /people in your life… ( besides your parents) …..

I wrote :  My sisters have been the most influential people in my life.  They are both amazing women with varied interests  and strong personalities.    They have influenced my likes, dislikes my views and have been my best friends.    They have always loved me and have been 2 people who i have respected the most.  They would  never steer me wrong, would always want the very best for me and would make my life amazing just as i would do the same for them. 

I am so proud to be the sister of both of them and brag to people about their personalities, their accomplishments and how wonderful they are on paper and in real life. They are beautiful inside and out! I LOVE THEM!  

even in my family  none of my sisters and i are the same…but the unique qualities they have… the unique experiences they have had has given them their unique personality.. and character… and i love them whole heartedly because of exactly who they are… i know them …as my best friends and sisters because of who they are…. not just what people say about them or what i have heard via “hearsay” that they have said… most of everything i hear i don’t believe anymore… but knowing the sweetness.. the intelligence.. the strength.. of their soul….maybe not many people are privy to the level of knowing them … but when you know someone … someone who would do anything for you… is your friend when your are crying g over a boy.. the loss of a job… or sharing the joy over…. a holiday… over a book… or movie… or just a shared memory…. someone who took the time out of there life to let you know that it  doesn’t matter  that you are a sister.. and someone they didn’t choose as a friend. that they would choose you as their friend…. and have chosen you as their friend… my mo and her sisters have this song… that is really old and it goes something like this….

Sisters… sisters… there was never such devoted sisters… when someone tried to split them up but no one could…
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sisters… and Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man….     



*as a side note..  I didn’t get a chance to see my sisters this past thanksgiving…. and to think of it i haven’t spoken to them in a while… but there is this one saying i have on my wall of quotes…. o.k. maybe more than one saying … or quote…..

“No lapse of time or distance of place can lesson the friendship of those who are truly persuaded of each others worth…. “

“A Good friend is hard to find /hard to lose/and impossible to forget ”

 so when i was probably about 20-21 years old my mom had gotten this address from  a woman who you were to send in a hand print and send in a hand writing sample…. from those samples she then sent back a tape that was to tell you your future…. when i saw the movie:   eat /pray /love… it reminded me of the old man from Bali . when he looked at Julia Roberts palm and told her of her two marriages….

so what i have remembered for years… the woman  from the tape told me that i would fall in love three times…. the first love…then meet a second love, then  a third love but would remeet my second love and that is supposed to be the one i would marry… 

 so the hail and blessed novena starts from today until December 24th …. 15 times a day you say this and your prayer will be answered….