Today I received a horrid /evil bully email! The second in two weeks defaming my character, my reputation and trying to ruin relationships with my family… all lies of course but damaging  just the same… put me in tears… and shaking and stomach hurting… needless to say.. horrid and damaging emails… but i mentioned in a previous blog entry… about evil and meting it face to face… there is a website i found called www.bullicide.org concerning epidemic of bullies in America- bullies primarily bulling children but what happens to these bullies when they grow up?  do they ever grow up? Some of their victims have killed themselves in an attempt to escape their tormentors… but does that stop the problem? No I don’t think so I think they  continue to bully… they start as children then remain bullies because no one has the guts to stop them so they grow up into adult bullies and who do they pick on when they are adults… well, some vicious evil women will be evil to women… they will try to make others look bad so they themselves will look better- mature? no of course no but these are not nice people… somehow their twisted minds they feel the need to put others down .. maybe it is the sense of power they feel when they see another human brought to tears.. I mean I think i mentioned the girl with the long white blond hair from Ohio state karen kahel and how she bullied me to tears after trespassing into my complex to go running… she actually jumped up and down proclaiming she won she won as if it was a game or a conte4st or some kind of sport to see if she could harm another human being.. to see another human in tears crouched over ready to throw up shaking as the tormentor ( karen kahel ) knowing full well the infliction of emotional distress she was putting me through  laughed and happily ran back to her complex Carlton lakes in Naples Florida. Where were the consequences for her actions… none… anyone i spoke with wanted me to just take it… to just not cry… or get upset… as if it was my responsibility for being the victim… when she intentionally made a choice to inflict harm… she was a grown woman who could have chosen not to harm me …. but instead she decided to bully to make me cry and to laugh about it… to actually jump up and down… happy that he inflicted harm on me … so i believe since there were no consequences for her actions… she of course would and probably does…continue in her evil behavior… what is she teaching her son?  will he be the next generation of bully… will he not only bully others but grow up and really harm society.. one has to wonder right? 

I am trying to figure out why… maybe it is all the weddings going on in Naples this weekend…  its whomever would know that i don’t  recover from such bulling quickly…  maybe,  so i wouldn’t go to my favorite hotel( THE RITZ) with tear stained cheeks or blood shot eyes… or maybe i met someone some girl likes ?  Who can ever figure out why anyone ( bullies ) cant see past their own selfish intentions and actually grow up or develop a kind loving heart.. be someone who can make a contribution  to good or of great merit to society… instead of evil… instead of selfish… and the really sad part its not just one person… there are many many bullies out their… having many many victims… seeking out people who were once nice,  sweet, kind, thoughtful,  considerate who had great families and helped others …had goals and dreams… 

Maybe it is a “”wanna be”” you know the type.. a person without  a real personality or any real life to speak of… maybe someone who feel inferior  in themselves for not having traveled or accomplished anything.. someone who sees another person’s life and instead of working to achieve it… would steal it through mockery… through copying there taste in clothing.. or even steal their clothes or make themselves look like someone… with haircuts or whatever…. I was always raised  that individual style and taste… are valuable are characteristics that create character and personality… one’s unique personality and character…. that make a person who they are.. are vital to their personal growth and are like a part of their soul…   

You know come to think of it… after i created my email address whatabtmary@yahoo.com”  someone copied it and made up an email address of whataboutmary@yahoo.com  I know because i tried to contact this person to see if I could buy it from her…anyway.. no response… but i had thought it so clever since i had seen the movie “Something about Mary” had loved seeing Cameron  and have had a short bob hair cut on and off for ages…  

HUMMMM wonder if any of these bullies could be these girls?…. you know the “”wanna be girls””but actually it is more like …like  identity theft…. right?  or remember that one movie  where Bridget Fonda gets a roommate who ends up ruining her life… cant for the life of me remember the name of it.. but you know the one right?  

Any way…. If you see anyone who is being  bullied… what will you do?
If anyone has any reason why someone would do such horrid things to another  please comment and let me know… 
For me… i believe to sue for damages concerning   defamation of character/slander and libel….   are a very viable solution to at least stop a few people….  and having a few less bullies or criminals in  this world could only make the world a better place….   luv mary jean ziska

PS

Wonderful show on CNBC this evening… How I Made My Millions  so inspirational… a bit similar to a show The Big Idea that I also loved….. along with Shark Tank…  shows that promote entrepreneurs… their endeavors… their success and how they did it.. and what thy are doing now and so many times how they gave back…I think I mentioned in a blog entry my concerns about evil people…how do they  get away with criminal behavior.. how  they exist and worse yet how do they thrive. On the positive side.. the  shows I mentioned were great. To me they are inspirational… success and benefits of success can do so much not only for an individual.. or a family but when giving back… they are such a wonderful part of allowing others to be a part of a positive trend that will allow people to find and follow their passions… and in turn success will breed more success…. and following your passion will definitely bring you happiness…

Funny thing about me being  able to turn  a hobby into a business… even though it was a stepping stone .. I knew it was just that… a stepping stone…  I knew there was more to learn… other enterprises to establish.. and other goals to achieve… both personal and professional goals.

The original plan was to  take what I had learned from the faux painting business and go to Interior Design School… I even checked on classes  and met with an advisor ….twice…  It is still something I would like to do… Interior Design School or classes… but I started working with my mother to assist her in her babysitting business… I saw all the potential.. all  the untapped avenues… I can still see so many possibilities…. in these businesses so much potential for growth and for revenue… and for the fun of networking and even  additional businesses…in conjunction with what she started… its exciting to see all the possibilities…

We even started working together on her plan to open an etiquette school…  you can check out the information in the websites… www.atenderlovingcareservice.com  or www.atlcprep.com….

 6:15pm on Wednesday September 29th 2010
One quick entry… just  a thought or two… about honesty and integrity… both in men and women… 

 I pose a quick question.. would you ever lie or harm someone’s life to benefit your own?… your children’s? or  to gain something for yourself?

I have actually come face to face with evil  people who would sell out  anyone’s life  to better their own… or in the worst case scenario.. would actually harm anyone’s life to better their own..

I don’t understand how they think or really how they operate.. they must have a moment where they have a choice of either helping or harming a person.. or a person’s life.. and somehow they choose to take the wrong path… how do they sleep at night?… I don’t understand ….  when confronted with a choice to do good or evil these people choose evil… is it that they have never been caught?… or faced the consequences.of their actions?.. could they  possibly not have one shred of decency… no ethics or morals to speak of… no remorse.. or just  no conscience?…  these women or men must be void of every bit of human compassion.. or existence… I mean can you call a person who has no ethics no morals or values.. who  indiscriminately goes around and harms people… can you really call them human if they have no soul?  If anyone has any reason why someone would choose to harm a person… please let me know…I don’t get it… at all…   

Before meeting the only evil I have ever met in my life… I was so innocent, so sweet, and I guess that left me a bit gullible… and naive… but i was always surrounded by the most amazing friends and family and through their love and guidance…. i really had no harm in my life… i must take this opportunity to thank them for all the love and guidance they provided me my entire life… it was actually like walking around with a ton of guardian angels… who rally wanted me to be happy and to know the more positive and loving  side of life… it was great! 

Back to the women who lie to get what they want … can you believe that there are some women out there who will put on a complete false front… ie.. fake… and lie about their likes and dislikes just to get a guy… and even go to the extreme of actually harming any girls they might consider “competition” just to harm their reputation.. and  thus make themselves look better… how horrid.. Right? 

I actually babysat  for a little girl who actually stole money from her sister.. then lied to me about it until she thought she was going to be caught by the use of a video camera..  she did not tell the truth… and lied like a professional criminal… and the girl was like 7 years old….  I was shocked…. to say the least… so here is another question.. are these horrid girls created?.. or born?… is evil a part of a personality… or developed when these girls are not punished for the wrong they cause or the harm they cause?…. Take for example a bully …..on the phone…  or face to face… If face to face would they be as hurtful or damaging… if they knew the harm they caused?… would they jump up and down … in joy… or would they actually feel some type of sympathy… or compassion…  in the case of two people I’ve referred to in this blog entry ad others… these people who i met face to face….I now believe them to be pure evil… they got sheer pleasure out of harming or stealing or damaging people’s lives… 

…… for me.. I WOULD NOT harm someone else to get something for myself…  I actually believe that people who manipulate others for their own gain…  are on the bottom of the food chain… very bottom…  but then I don’t lie or cheat or steal.. I also don’t believe in doing  drugs or ever  indulging in  alcohol….

So….back to the  Gingerbread man qualities.. I would not want someone who would lie or cheat or steal… or who has ever been to jail….

or would not want  someone who had or has ever had a drug problem or alcohol problem…  i am  not interested in anyone with any mental deficiencies…  or many issues or problems…

If that doesn’t  sound  politically correct i am sorry but i know what i want.. and what i don’t want to deal with… in a relationship in a marriage or in my life. …   i do believe in  helping  people…  in fact i think “the giving list”  by Warren Buffet and Bill Gates is amazing… though  most of the giving is for health care and education… if i can remember correctly… and not many provisions for giving monies to businesses..  which when you think of it Warren Buffet and Bill  Gates both gave that speech at Columbia Business School…. ( if you haven’t seen the interview.. check it out… i think it was on CNBC or MSNBC) if i remember correctly… Erin was the interviewer…

Also… think about the Member’s Project…by American express.. or even the Pepsi Project... both amazing  contests… and support such wonderful and great causes/ ideas…. and   organizations..

I  always thought by helping people with creating a business…  these same people following their passions… and creating commerce… in some way or other… that it will instill more avenues for creating passion in others.. business ideas.. and more revenue for our economy… to me allowing people to follow their passion int a career path… just is exciting… maybe because i was able to have the opportunity to take a hobby ( art) and with a lot of patience.. of direction and faith from my family and friends… I was able to take a hobby and turn it into a business … a business mind you that no one thought I was capable to doing… at least that is how they thought of my ideas… “my plan”.. and my business… but as I mentioned before in a previous blog… I actually won the favor of not only my clients and some really neat and wonderful designers.. but i was able to have wonderful sisters and friends and family who became my biggest fans…   so much for my faux painting business… M&M DECORATIVE  PAINTING…  guess that is why i am so encouraging for others to pursue their dreams… not only can they achieve  their dreams.. they can know the sheer pleasure of fulfilling their destiny… and hopefully go on to help others follow their dreams… wouldn’t that make such a nice almost “pay it forward” type situation?….  what have you done for someone else today?… have you harmed anyone? or helped anyone?…  how about this question… if you died today… and at the gates of heaven.. what would be the comment from t.  Peter?…..from ….God?…

Its now 9:pm and I need to put in a wonderful page /entry about my mother! she saw the entry where I was speaking about my father.. and I think she may have felt a bit hurt… so I will write or actually rewrite what I wrote in a Mother’s Day card to her in 2008…  and again in a wonderful keepsake of thanks and memories of growing up book… I highly recommend everyone fill on out for their parents and loved ones… it is a book with questions where you get to remember all the amazing experiences and memories  that create a relationship and a family…  

“Dearest Mom… its not just one day a year where you are appreciated-

 You have been my mother for (now i am 44 but when this was originally written i was 42… years) each page in this memory book will give you a brief glimpse into the amount of love, devotion and admiration I hold for my mother….

Dearest Mom, I can’t begin to tell you the amount of love, devotion, trust and friendship I have for my Mother… you were my mentor into the world of business, style, grace and poise… you were laughter, smiles, hugs, and home… you were feelings of safety, security, and unconditional love! you were strength when I was weak or frightened you were my friend.. one of my best friends…

My Mom, my movie and shopping companion, my religious backbone and even my fellow cooking “experimenter”  You  taught me about etiquette, style, grace and necessities… like manicures, pedicures, tasteful living and all the wonders and beauty life could offer..

You gave me life enhancing experiences, world travel, connections to amazing and influential people..

You encouraged me to live the best life possible and to be the best person possible… you were fun talented and I admired you and loved you more than you will ever know…

May your Birthday, Mother’s Day and all holidays.. bring you as much happiness /love and gifts as you have given others…( and throughout my life your generous gift giving heart /soul allowed you to give A LOT!…

May God bless and protect you, may your future be prosperous/fun/joyful/easy and filled with laughter and love…may you be surrounded by friends, family and love.. may all your dreams and wishes come true.. every wish .. may God grant you the millions you deserve, the peace and prosperity you are entitled to and the love… unconditional love of all around you…
Happy Mother’s Day  
Love,
Mary Jean Ziska 
 PS.   I bought the memory book at the Ritz Carlton beach resort before taking you and Scott to the Tiburon Ritz for mother’s day brunch… brunch… then cake and presents at my place after wards.. I hope you will always remember what a wonderful Mother’s Day we all had together!
All my love, Mary Jean Ziska  “

So Does anyone know anything  about go daddy? Spoke with Chris from Arizona and guess what he told me… that  while I was writing .. it shouldn’t be blogging out… but  guess what… it is… so go figure… once more… a simple and pleasurable part of my life destroyed    possible reasons… could be someone on my account… because I don’t log back into my blog… and it was set up over the phone… or something to do with my  server…. but since it never happened before Sept. 11th… just weird…. 

 1 am…I’m a bit frustrated … I  get to write in my word document and then copy and paste my words… pretty @#$^^*&…..HA!

Not as bad as when I mentioned karen kahel  in an email to the bank where she  had worked…and how she trespassed  and bullied me when she was in my  complex ….repercussions  of  that will and have affected my life and my business…  and my accounts at the bank she used to work  …..
 
So as not to end this post with a horrid ending…ie (mentioning a horrid girl)  here is a great quote..
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours ”  Henry David Thoreau …
To all dreams coming true!

I think there may be two blogs… I went to go and type back in and log back in and it wouldn’t let me log in! so now all need to so is find out where are my posts… hopefully they are kept…. ( post post …ha..no i never did find any of the post that were lost.. and it took many hours on the phone and emails with go daddy to rectify the situation of not only the disapearing posts… but the non-saving of the posts as well… shesh… guess when you have one issue… you never know what else can develope… i will hope and pray that is all… luv mary jean ziska

well it is official… once again my blog post (that I started about an hour ago )  was not saved… no auto save at all… Uggg again frustrating.. and I was just getting into writing …

 well another late night call to the help people.. I  got a  message via email  from the help and it just  told me…..

 “not to worry that everything will be saved because we have “auto” save in go daddy”

… somehow mine  is not working! HELP! but the funny part… OK it is kinda funny for a while… then it  it is so frustrating  trying to tell someone what is happening … ( the posts not auto saving...) and then have a person  who is genuinely trying to help… tell you that

him:  ” Well, it is not supposed to be doing that..”
me:  ” yes… that is why i am calling you… it is not responding the way it should…”  and the conversation continues…
him: no it should be auto saving… 
me: but its not…
him: but it should be 
me: but I’m trying to explain its not…..

so maybe it is the amount of words? no it didn’t save even one word… o.k. so now what… i am actually thinking that it must be two blogs… so I guess  I will have to either write out everything in long hand..or in word save and hopefully when I post it I will have my writings back… weird..

Its like I am in some alternate blog… with a  fake me  getting some posts… and the real me…not getting the posts…  but the real me… me…. mary jean ziska is getting the raw end of this since the impostor is stealing not only my posts…  it feels more like my identity.. because it is  my words.. and moments from my life…  my life… uggg..

in real life.. its like when I had  my driver’s license stolen in 2005 with credit cards for a month…  its such a pain..trying to solve the situation….. if there was a “fake”person… getting the posts… or just identity theft situation…  wow..  can you imagine how much trouble some girl will be in when she is found out to be the fraud!HA!
but lets  just hope that the person  who set up my bog screwed up and somehow  made a double…  or there is some very simple explanation!

 So its actually 8:53pm and I am a bit nervous about writing… i am in full alert… waiting for my blog to log out before I have finished.. or some other drama to occur…. so lets see if we can save and write… and have just a normal experience with the blogging for today…   doesn’t look like it may be happening … the fonts and the size of the fonts will not stay …. wait maybe I have fixed it… for now anyway… .

  
I started this great blog entry and this is the third time I was rudely logged out…. not of my own choice and lost all of what I had written…. in a way the written word is like this possession… like a work of art… granted it doesn’t have to be a great work of art but it is yours… and no two are alike… so each and every time I have begun to write I cannot duplicate what I wrote before… is it better for the chance to start all over with no notes.. no reference to what was written before.. NO …

I can tell you honestly… today my frustration level is just at its wits end… after speaking with  people for my phone company since September 10th… and nothing  being done or changed … no criminals being caught… no fraudulent calls or spoofing being taken seriously and  being taken care of…care of… must tell you i was looking forward to sitting down and just being able to jot down a few thoughts …. 

 i think usually the first time when you write something  the freshness of your written words are nice… especially when it is like a journal.. your flowing thoughts (that not only mimic your speaking or your internal thoughts) but they are unedited… I don’t mean unedited in spelling or grammar… but in the manner you are able to express your ideas…its like exposing your soul… anyway… I love what I had written… and it just feels stolen when it is unceremoniously deleted and not saved 

I have been trying everything to save them …..First I tried to wait until I was finished writing… and when working the essay for 9/11 I was in the middle of correcting it before it logged me out and didn’t save one single word!  wait actually it did save  a portion of what I had written….. it almost seems like it is doing it on purpose….. did anyone ever see Larry David.. when someone  almost snapped off his nose…. anyway… so lets try it for the third time this evening … it is now midnight… and no saved blog entries from 10 or 11 pm… but when I started to first write at 9:45pm… the first few words were saved….  strange don’t you think?… in case it gets lost i will write a brief outline…here goes

 1. blogs are disappearing … cant save them… help! feel like Carrie Bradshaw in sex in the city… when she lost her words… computer crashed
on phone with tec. person concerning disk space… and now problem is worse… thought photo album would change disk space… next tec person… had me delete copies of my website Anyone know if that will fix the problem?   
2.  tried saving  before editing but didn’t work ..  lost 3 entries already today! today and on Sept 11 Th so many spelling errors and typos will exist until I can get to correct them … old key board and keys stick….. painful to type really…
3. miss writing… need passion in life… creativity… art classes… working with great designer for CEO of Burberry…. work within  passion dad philosophy isn’t work… fun life when you have passion …. great and loving dad ….school in France dad…
4. mom travel business woman working overseas starting business in county where couldn’t even drive amazing woman/ taught me all is possible
5. disagree that  hardship… and torment or horrid experiences make you stronger..or gives you character 
6.  living safe country… Saudi Arabia … growing up in ARAMCO community … no crime capital punishment allowed me opportunity to flourish… without worry amazing childhood! 
7.  song… who made you king of anything...?  written by whom?  insert song… 
8.  people are better.. and more of who they are  when they are allowed to not only be them selves but become the best of them selves… “be all you can be” ……
 
its now 12:14 am… on phone with tec person until 3am… very tired!  and very disappointing … not being able to write…  and save …  

So back for another post… maybe I should start twittering…HA!… what a horrid day…  the lost blog post that I desperately tried to recreate.. but isn’t exactly what I had originally written… and trying to fix one thing after another… was very tiring…  just I guess a sad day…

did walk on the treadmill and watched a bit of serendipity… yes a chick flick…. questions of destiny.. of fate…of not only meeting someone.. but of choices verses what is meant to happen… 

the gingerbread man story… all based on faith… on a knowing that a person’s life has a purpose and meaning.. of meeting that special someone is destiny… inevitable… that all things happen for a reason…
 
But I can’t for the life of me figure out why on earth these past 7- 8 years have happened…  why did 9/11 happen?  can’t figure it out at all….not at all… so today while questioning why criminals are free.. why bully girls who went to Ohio state… ..  actually bully and harm others on purpose…  why bad things happen to great and nice people…  all i can say is it does not make any sense… bad experiences do not make you stronger… they change you…  

Its like the poem of children learn what they live… one action creates a reaction… and depending on the action … like kindness or love will definitely  give a reaction much different than, bulling and lies, …  

Though I have been saying my novena for one year and one month… i have no answers… and no prayers  for financial miracles have been answered yet…or anyone on the list of people i have included who have asked for prayers… no one has mentioned that their lives have been astronomically blessed… so today… my faith is a bit weak…   

 One thing I did want to mention… that I believe a person is allowed to be free in America … to date whomever they want…  right? is it reverse discrimination when someone wants to meet a clean cut normal professional guy who wears blue blazers and khaki pants?… who may actually own a tuxedo… may have manners… be brought up as a gentleman… today I was discussing this with a stranger,… who told me that ted bundy wore a blue blazer and khaki pants… in the attempt of trying to persuade me from ever wanting what I want to find in a guy… i happened to mention that since 14 and at boarding school… boys from other schools would come to dances in their ties.. their blazers and pressed pants… that I am allowed to want to date the type of person with whom I feel comfortable…. someone who could go out to dinner …. and yes I am attracted to white Caucasian men… and blue or light eyes… and light hair… would be great…   I am sure everyone out there has their preference… maybe someone they dated in high school became the type of woman they now like… and I want to go on the record for saying there is nothing wrong with that…  and those strangers who are neither friend or family… are allowed to have their opinions… but I am allowed to want what I want as well… so please no comments about how I am not allowed to want the type of guy I feel comfortable dating… or the type of guy I am looking for thank you for respecting my wishes… and if you want to be my friends I would think you would want me to be happy…   luv mary jean ziska