my affirmations, my goals and my dreams… those embody more of myself…  those would have created the life i wanted… the life i envisioned… the home, the family, the career…. the friendships… I

 I haven’t actively chosen anything for a while….since  starting my  faux painting business….  choosing a condo …. even then…. the furniture i chose to put in my condo was temporary….I kept waiting to  have the time or money or choose the right item… i know what i wanted form the beginning… but i let a lot of people talk me out of my desires and wants… like i wanted plantation shutters…  white… thick on all the windows and sliding doors… I never got them…. i wanted granite counter tops…and the furniture to be great….and reflect a wonderful and tasteful life….never got to redecorate……

i wanted a guest room that was always ready and open for many guests… and i had planned for so many of my friends from  all over the world friends i had made my entire life to be able to come  to Florida and visit….no one has ever come to visit and stayed with me…..

i wanted  to have dinner parties… with friends/ family being able to come over  for casual dinners and for holidays.. didn’t get to have any of those…. 

I wanted to have brunches after church on Sunday… and friends who came over to go swimming, bike riding …. i even wanted to learn to play golf and take tennis lessons…  ( actually one roommate Scott did come by sometimes for brunch and someways would come over with his daughter and we would  all go swimming, or play cards or scrabble….) but i thought there would be tons of friends… i honestly used to have lots and lots of friends…..  but the fat disgusting Italian Gerard alher ruined everything! what a shame…. really… a shame…..