Today, dont know why but  was on a search for my cousin  john’s writing…

wait i know… this is the  thought process.. vetrans day… so emailed john ….then thoughts on his writing and on nancy on my grandmother… pop… and cousin nancy… so started a serch for his writing…. you know he is really such a talented writer… he’s written a few books…

midnight in monaco
bad men driving
loner stories

Acutally when i went to amazon.com and looked up john lawrence sheppard they will actually allow you to read some of teh pages…. so of course i did… and teh story aobut my grandmother dying.. didnt think readign it woudl affect me  and instead i could acuually picture her… and ended up crying … odnt know if it was also thinking of allthe people in that family who have died.. my aunt from breast cancer, her mother, her father, her daughter…. too many in one family … i mean i knwo everyone has to die but i still have so many questions…. like the recipies or stories that died with with  my grandparents… the truth aobut so many things tht died with my cousin… such a stong yet secretely sensative woman that died when my aunt did….