Just finished watching “the boys are back”a Miramax film… inspired by a true story… 

Has anyone seen it? The scenery, amazing, and I watched it more than once….( probably also because i rented from blockbuster for the 5 day rental!) bit it was great each and every time… I loved it… a bit sad… a father dealing with the death of his wife… and his dealing with the raising of his son/sons…   His methods of  basically having no rules…   made me a bit nervous…. I love being with children .. but without any rules… everything just  seems to get pretty messy… I guess he needed to do what he needed to do….. to get close to his son… to feel a bond… anyway.. Clive Owen… not only handsome and charming in the movie… but  a great representation of a more or less evolved man…. not a closed off man… able to speak with his children… not just yell… but really  speak and listen…. able to create atmospheres where freedom and exploration were crucial to growth… maybe  because he was creative himself… a writer in the story…. and seemed to have really loved his wife… and really missed her…  at the end of the movie… wondered if he was able to make it all work… and was able to find a new love for his life…. I mean how many really true loves can one person have in a life time?  If there is such a thing as soul mates…    can they be reincarnated?…. or are they waiting for the right time to appear… like my gingerbread story would suggest?…   
Just a simple comment and thought for the day….
luv mary jean ziska

 So my computer  or my using it today…is  a bit challenging… the posts won’t keep to the fonts I choose… or the size type…. since these hardships are making it much more burdensome to write my thoughts in a free flowing manner …I’ve decided to write down all the ideas whether they exist in a man or not …. the ideal perfect gingerbread man!

New day… 
August 28th 2010 and the computer is running great… so ….
 
So here goes… from my typing …..ahhhh….to gods ears….  now if there is a guy out there who will fit all these characteristics… for real…. and this contest can actually take place… then…. maybe there will be a large jackpot… who knows.. maybe wouldn’t it be funny to have a million dollar jackpot to find the right guy …and if it catches on… perhaps another woman will be able to find her right guy…. having a million dollars or more for a contest to find the right guy for me…HA! boy would that be fun….  

Now, I’m a pretty average, normal  girl… who has or had some really wonderful  expectations of finding the perfect guy for me at the right time… (I don’t think they are too high in the expectation category… so lets see if he can exist…. you be the judge…)but as I mentioned,  time keeps ticking… and I thought I’d help out a bit in this search for this guy… I once got a card at a card store… it read on the outside ….There is a perfect person out there for everyone  (when you open it up it read… ) Yours is in ( pick any country far, far away…..) with this mother and nine sisters….  

So here is the dilemma… if this guy is sooo far away… ohhhh lets say in Sweden..or Denmark… or even Germany or Switzerland…  the internet is probably one of the only ways to get a message out there to him right? Aside from the old note in the bottle trick…(which I think only worked in the movies If I’m not mistaken…HA!) 

Anyway… back to this mythical man who may or may not exist….this great guy…. one who is honest… I mean really honest, not even in a habit of those little lies… because if someone can’t be honest in the little things… why would I be able to trust them in the really big truths… like being faithful.. so he has to be faithful… and trustworthy… someone you can turn to and tell your most personal fears or joys and you know they won’t betray your confidences… so this is pretty much describing your best friend right?  So this guy would have to be a friend… the person you want to share your stories… your life adventure.. want to help you achieve your goals and dreams… and would be someone you could or would want to spend time with…. not all your time.. but be able to definitely want to “hang out” with you and somehow could make even the most mundane tasks enjoyable just by being there… isn’t that what a great friend is?  

o.k., how about a great sense of humor… kind, thoughtful, romantic, considerate   
someone who has a great outlook on life and is positive… o.k realistically no one can be positive all the time but wouldn’t it be great if  after a bad day… you had a friend  who could and would listen… maybe even a shoulder to lean on or a hug and a nice comment like ” don’t worry… we can work it out… lets  put our resources together… I know we can solve this” not someone who talks down to you… or make you feel inferior… but a person who believes in a relationship as working together… as someone who has your back so to speak… I mean , life can really throw a curve ball every now and then… its nice to know you don’t have to go it alone…

What about the good old bible verse characteristics… patience, kind, not boastful…   what about someone who is great… how about normal… with no major issues  take for instance I rarely drink…and don’t do drugs… so no one who has those habits…. also not into smoking… it seems to bother my senses…. and  some one who has the ability to be  eloquent  and can write … wow… i mean not just basic english… but can elaborate on feelings and emotions and you know write a love letter…. o.k. even a great email would be nice.. but someone who can open up and really share and be honest with feelings and emotions….also it would be nice if they were tactful  as I am pretty sensitive and could get my feelings hurt… hey, I am a girl after all….. some other great qualities…would be….ambitious, and  of course not into dramas…. but still be sensitive and able to appreciate culture and art?   

How about varied interests… like, athletic… but loves the theater… is that possible?  or is that a contradiction?… How about a great cook a great father or potential father… you know the kind of man you sneak a peek  into a room when he doesn’t think any one is watching… who is rocking or singing or even dancing with a baby… now is it possible for that same man to still command a board room meeting or company? Seriously……do these guys still exist?…. I mean on the t.v shows.. the qualities that are supposedly beneficial to win a game like bachelorette or bachelor…they don’t necessarily seem to make for a great guy to settle down with do they?… I’m not looking for a game player… I am who I am and though I may change for better or for worse… ( hoping changes are always for the better right? I am hoping there is someone who likes me ( as in the famous words of Bridgette Jones…) “likes me just as I am”    Wow maybe even loves me Just as I am… 

would absolutely love someone who has traveled a great deal in their life… and who still enjoys traveling … but I must admit that I definitely prefer traveling in a more comfortable style than when I was in   teenager or in my 20’s when backpacking and jumping on a train and sleeping on a couchette was a solution for “making time” to get to the next destination… now I would really love to have someone to travel with who enjoys similar expectations for traveling in a more comfortable style… there is just nothing nicer than a great hotel with the softest sheets and the best of service and comforts… when after a long day of sightseeing and excursions you can enjoy a nice dinner and a great room ….now at this point in time of my life… that  is  a great way to travel….   don’t get me wrong… I can still rough it at time… but it is so much more pleasurable  to  make travel /vacations and trips so nice and comfortable….  so i guess that is enough for today… does anyone have any great qualities to add…. and yes…if you want to correct my spelling… please feel free to let me know!HA! thanks for your input and your time… luv mary jean ziska  

So after sharing  this blog “experimental” idea… a few people gave me some negative reviews….
…  lets go with the people who think this is a cute idea… so if i were wishing for my gingerbread to exist…. I mean if I could wish on that first star of the evening…. there would be so many wonderful qualities to include…. so I thought ( an ahhhhh moment )….A LIST … much more in depth than the
e- harmony questions… because I am not trying to hide any abstract  notion of what i want…. my intentions are very clear… and describable and i am very particular…. I have no problem being held accountable….. if such a perfect guy exists for me… then I need categories  which include…..  Gosh I’ve been adding these qualifications …. guess my whole life…. so get ready there is quite a list….

1.  Integrity qualification:
a. honesty, faithful, has integrity, ethics, great morals,  conservative values, and strong family commitment and values,

2.  Professional/  likes/goals/and desires

3.  Personal/ likes/goals/desires

4. Personal looks/physical attributes
    

Today August 14th 2010, I had a brain storm!  Last week I watched Julie and Julia, and  I decided  that I can also write a blog… on the world of dating !  … or more specifically my NON dating world…

Here goes my attempt of entering into the dating world using E harmony, and any other method (that is normal of course)… any interesting yet safe method that is… suggestions are welcomed …  I  may  even try…. and any recommendations  I may even  attempt…..that anyone may give me on the dating world these days…. 

So ….. today I googled mail order husbands and got the laugh of a life time… I will tell who ever is interested in a laugh the exact website if you really want to know…  but needless to say… I honestly think the site I viewed must have been a joke!….  get this…. man with a tattoo… who would like to date someone with the same name on the tattoo… or if anyone wanted to change their name to the name on the tattoo….he didn’t want to bother dealing with changing the tattoo….HA! what a hoot!!

So here I start this blog… at 44 years old…never married no children….  with every intention of meeting my gingerbread man… I mean for real… if God is listening… I must be ready by now don’t you think? HA! 

I also just finished saying a novena for a full year… actually even a few days over a year  according to today’s date… the novena was for a huge financial miracle for me…. then of course my affirmations and dreams and goals to come true… and I have a list of all these people who have either asked for prayers.. or have been wonderful and nice to me in my life .. the ones you really hope are blessed with great fortune.. with happiness. health, and all their  wishes to come true…
 
Do you think that God is waiting for me to meet my gingerbread man until after I have had my prayers answered?… or like in my story… the right guy for me just isn’t ready to meet me yet?  

So I am new at this posting… I hope the stories and comments I receive can be inspiring for those of us who do still believe that there is this perfect  person for each one of us (yes I know I’ve heard it a million times there is no perfect person… but what I mean is …. my perfect person ….the perfect fit for me…and yes I know it is not the same as yours…. of course….)  

My goal or mission is to see if the gingerbread man theory I created in 2003… will come true… to see how the dating world is going these days… to let you know the funny and amusing stories of the dating world… and eventually,   hopefully to find Mr. Right … My …. gingerbread man!  Who knows…. I even thought of doing a contest… with a cash prize…. for the person or group of people who can find me my gingerbread man… I haven’t figured out all the details… and my mother was clever enough to come up with a byline… the “Internet Bachelorette”…. just not on television…. (no real names will be used in any of my stories)…. and hopefully no crying….
Eventually…  I will  have to put a time frame on a contest If I decide to do such a thing…. 

Hopefully… a fairy tale happily ever after ending  to a small story I wrote ages ago for my sisters and girlfriends….  thanks for listening… hope to hear from you soon, Luv Mary Jean z.