It could happen to you…. The movie where a police man wins the lottery and gives half to a waitress… because he kept his promise… now that is a man who sticks by his commitments.. is honorable and honest and wow… a man of integrity… that is a real man of integrity…. Anyway… I guess when I wrote the gingerbread man story.. I really had hoped to meet a man of integrity of honestly.. a real man who was like a hero… but… no such luck… actually nothing even close… instead I had to deal with the bottom of the barrel… people who put me through horrid situations and horrid experiences….
I don’t even thin k they raise men like that anymore.. at least I haven’t met anyone like that in at least the past 12-20 years… I think my dad was a man raised to keep his promises.. and who would actually be someone who would honor an agreement like that.. where you live your life with integrity and honor… not like so many people…. Who are just out for themselves… who will hurt anyone.. to get what they need… the mentality of “ what’s in it for me….”
I think I was really lucky that I was blessed to be raised by people who taught me to be considerate… to be thoughtful… to be honorable… to be ethical…. But on the flip side.. being raised to be honest, and truthful and trust in people… that actually made me really vulnerable to the scum and con-artist and criminals who have ruined my life….. but growing up in an American community that was really safe .. a gated community in Saudi Arabia where we didn’t need to lock our doors… and since it was a dry county. No alcohol problems… and over all very safe an d no real problems to deal with…. No crime since it was a country with capital punishment… and it was really a pretty nice environment… so it was easy to be raised with values of the 1950’s…. an in a safe environment like the1950’s at least that is what my parent s told me…
I told someone recently about this movie “sliding doors” with gwenth paltrow.. where the plot goes through an entire” what if” scenario…. You know if you make this choice then these occurrences happen. But what if you had made another choice…
If I hadn’t been raised to be such a “good ‘ girl ..to always tell the truth.. or to be honest and generous.. or trusting… or had just never met any criminals…
My life would have been really amazing… what a waste what a shame…. No story book twelve years of sheer bliss… and a happily ever after ending for my story… ( like the story of my life… ha.. had a great beginning.. great middle.. but a horrid time for now… so here is hoping that things start looking up… and I can boast of god answering prayers… of true love still existing… and I can find that great gingerbread man… have a wonderful life… a great life…. Where wishes and dreams do come true…. But for now.. fixing the ….hell….. a bunch of horrid people made me go through… and trying to figure out if there are any great and honest people left in this world… who won’t lie to you .. steal from you and take advantage of you for their own selfish intensions…. Who honor commitments.. and who you can honestly trust… …. And who actually makes your life sooo much better just by being a part of your life… I can’t even tell you how lonely and isolated it has felt when you never meet anyone who actually could possibly be a real friend…. I’m not talking about acquaintances.. but those genuine real friends that you have a soul type friend connection .. who enjoy your company.. who has common morals and values.. and who actually is amazing… those type of people you just know you will know your entire life and who … would be available to help in an emergency.. in an instant… to help… no questions.. just real friendship….
I guess I miss that the most… the friendships.. long talks on the phone with real friends you know you are building lifelong relationships… and who you can laugh with ..who genuinely wants to spend time with you.. and who values you as much as you value them…. Yes… the constant contact with real friends… would have enhance my life sooo much…