What is it like to have 8 years of phone conversations with strangers…. strangers who are actually supposed to be your friends.. your family and be the close confidants you can trust and who love you…. I mean wouldn’t that really be a waste of energy?.. be a shame?.. a waste of time?.. waste of trying to build relationships?.. of building trust with a bunch of people who constantly lie to you?
.. who just use you to say what they need to say…
lies they need you to believe… but in no way are they really interested in what you have to say.. of any contributions to the a conversation you may want to make…
people with no conscious … (at least that i know for sure were the girls who liked to bully … who liked to manipulate… who liked to ruin lives.. )
just say for example… i spoke with someone who changes each conversation.. not just what they say.. but how they say it.. and the manner in which they say it.. if they are a stupid boy who clears their throat all the time… or someone who changes from loving German Sheppard dogs to loving boxer dogs… conversations where there was immediate urgency to help them… or that there is a danger… all just lies… to get response…to change your life… even trying to get personal information to all use in some sort of fraud… and not just a “PUNKED” type episode… its much worse than that… these people can ruin lives… ruin relationships.. ruin careers.. and ruin futures…. and they really don’t care… so many people are sooooo selfish.. soooooo self motivated.. sooo rotten…
anyway… what is it like to not be able to speak to the proper people for the past 8 years… to not be able to build life long relationships…..well…. it sucks… its lonely and it is unforgivable for those who manipulated anything and everything for their own selfish intentions… who waltz in and out of people’s lives do their damage… then leave a mess for others to clean up..
I saw a portion of Oprah today as i was flipping through channels… and it so happened it was when she was speaking of a person who made a huge impact in her life.. a little boy named Mattie … who was so positive.. had so much to do in his life… and actually tried to acomplish so much… and i began to remember so many of the items on my list of goals i wanted to accomplish… not just items like learning to sail… or playing instruments… or cooking special dishes… or even going to Harvard and taking the executive education classes.. but so many items left on my bucket list… and i’m not in a wheelchair… the only thing stopping me is having these horrid people lying, cheating, and stealing… and manipulating everything… i still don’t understand why… its just evil…they are just sooooo evil… .
Instead of meeting amazing and wonderful people who are divine connections… those people put in your who could impact your life…in a positive way.. who could make a difference .. those kinds of people you remember and who are those type of people you dedicate a book to … you thank at awards ceremonies who you can call and tell all your dreams… your wishes.. those friends who actually want you to get all your dreams.. and are by your side helping you to achieve those dreams and wishes and hopes…
I miss those people in my life… I think that Mattie is one of those type of people… a gift to so many people… what a gift to the world….