So you know when you start an art project… how it can start as one type of small project and then lead into others things… well, I keep my novena in my car so i can say it if i stop by the church… so each evening i get the novena out from my car so i can say it ( probably should have it pretty well memorized by now…. 1 year (and it will be) 4 full months by the 12th of December anyway, i decided wouldn’t it be neat it i had it on my wall…. i guess i could have just pinned it on my wall but since faux painting g and painting artistically on walls really is something i used to do all the time… i went ahead and in a nice pewter metallic i painted the novena on my wall… first i tried just writing it nice and small… but not only was it to hard to read.l. it was too hard to paint… so eventually 3 of my 4 walls are covered in prayers…. then i got this really neat idea i don’t know if it exists yet or not… but in a nice tone on tone.. or iridescent silver or oyster…. wouldn’t it be pretty as wall paper…. in fact, a nice pretty font… a nice quality paper… i could see it in a very upscale children’ s nursery… or a church…. My one cousin actually has a place in tiburon where a man who sells wallpaper for a living resides…. i ‘ll have to have him check and see if already exists…
Speaking of tiburon…. another lovely day in Florida and at the shark shootout I tried to see on television what was going on but on the golf channel all they had was a tournament that looked like it was in Dubai.. One year i got to go and hung out with my cousin and his family while the shootout was going on but that was only one year and it was November 2004 and i even have a Franklin Templeton shootout Tiburon member pin HA! .. Its actually kinda fun being on the side lines…
Speaking of being on the sidelines… I don’t think i ever really minded being the “invisible sister” or even an “invisible “friend”…. of course i know i am not invisible… but i shy away from the spot light… from having to be the center of attention… don’t get me wrong I still really like nice things, and going to nice places…. and i still think my child hood and some of the experiences i was fortunate to have were wonderful…. i just never knew the “other side of some people…. i never felt i had to justify what i wanted or what i liked… i even was told by someone very recently that “what made me think i deserved to have that?” … or to want that?….. they made me feel that wanting to have a great life was asking too much… that somehow I didn’t deserve to have what i wanted… pretty mean and pretty rude right? I would never have ever said anything like that to anyone … i think its great to encourage each other to inspire each other… to help each other to be the bets we can e and live up to our fullest potential… i guess that is why it has been so shocking to have to deal with bulllies and such horrible people that i would never have chosen to have in my life EVER! It’s sometimes
annoying when if you are nice…. or don’t complain someone decides that
you can have less…. or that because you didn’t complain about it that you are satisfied with less… or lesser
quality…. i guess i was brought up not to complain about some
things… because it may hurt your host’s feelings… or be bad
manners… what i didn’t realize is that some people take advantage of
that and will make sure to only take the very best for themselves and leave you the left overs….. Of course i know it shows such a lack of character… but it just shocks me every time….
On the other hand… i remember having dinner with a friend…( because i had made diner) I let him chose the piece of meat or chicken… and he purposely choose the smaller piece… i knew he was probably hungry… and i just thought that showed such a great selfless character trait… nice, really nice… then another person wanted to give a gift to someone and told me” to find something you don’t want anymore”… that “they won’t know the difference”… All i could think of was that this person probably gave me gifts that were just left overs as well…
Maybe it was the fact that my mom made such big events of our birthdays and of holidays…. that gave me a standard of expectation for both giving and receiving gifts… and she put so much thought into the gifts… learning what we liked…. making a special effort to get just the items we liked… and taking the time with cards… and with making each of her children feel special and loved…. in fact since my youngest sister and i shared a birthday… the middle sister would always get an “UN-birthday gift so she wouldn’t feel left out of the festivities on our birthday…. wasn’t that just a brilliant idea!
Anyway…while growing up i think i was also very fortunate to have made some pretty amazing friends… real friends who just knew you… they knew your worth… didn’t try to pin you into a category… or a class… but knew how special you were.. and validated it…. i just knew I was me.. and that was enough…. I miss those type of friends… actually i miss those real, genuine friends..…
Also today after finishing my “art project” ( i guess art is pretty subjective but i think it is kinda neat to decorate your weather it is with mementos( which i have one wall dedicated to mementos… to a college of the best and nicest…. and great times… and almost a huge memory box…. and now my bedroom with the prayer… I used to laugh at people who were so worried about putting decorations in paint on their walls…its just paint… if you don’t like it later on just paint over it…. nothing in this life should be so heart wrenching…. painting a mural or a faux finish… its not life or death…. its just paint … and if for some brief moment someone looks at the wall or mural… and smiles… then that is all that matters….
speaking of life and death…. I have caught two possibly three viewings of the st. Jude hospital documentaries…. absolutely heart breaking…. These children deserved to live full lives…. to have all their hopes and dreams come true… to be able to grow old and be able to not only survive.. but thrive… and succeed… i guess children still can touch a person’s heart …. and ill children… can really tug at my heart… like nothing else can… I don’t know how the families stay so strong…. i think i saw at least 3 or four children whose story ended when their life ended…. I’m adding the children at St Jude’s hospital to my st Jude novena list…
Speaking of amazing children… today for the very first time i watched the special Cd that came with the sound of music CD. I don’t know why felt the need to watch it but i am really glad i did… it had all the bonus interviews.. and the commentaries.. and a documentary…. wonderful! then i started watching the sound of music itself… guess i just needed some wholesome and nice television viewing…
speaking of great and nice television viewing…. this evening the airing of white Christmas is on…I actually pulled that out a few days ago and watched that …. i hadn’t realized that was the movie where my mom had listened to the song about sisters… i tried calling her this evening i know she would have loved to see it… but could reach her… guess that is what it will be like when she does pass away…. or when anyone passes away…. you will be reminded of them and their likes and want ot reach out and tell them.. and you just will never be able to get a hold of them ever again… what an empty feeling to try to share some intimate detail of life with someone who loves you and knows you…. but not be able to contact with them….
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