I started this great blog entry and this is the third time I was rudely logged out…. not of my own choice and lost all of what I had written…. in a way the written word is like this possession… like a work of art… granted it doesn’t have to be a great work of art but it is yours… and no two are alike… so each and every time I have begun to write I cannot duplicate what I wrote before… is it better for the chance to start all over with no notes.. no reference to what was written before.. NO …

I can tell you honestly… today my frustration level is just at its wits end… after speaking with  people for my phone company since September 10th… and nothing  being done or changed … no criminals being caught… no fraudulent calls or spoofing being taken seriously and  being taken care of…care of… must tell you i was looking forward to sitting down and just being able to jot down a few thoughts …. 

 i think usually the first time when you write something  the freshness of your written words are nice… especially when it is like a journal.. your flowing thoughts (that not only mimic your speaking or your internal thoughts) but they are unedited… I don’t mean unedited in spelling or grammar… but in the manner you are able to express your ideas…its like exposing your soul… anyway… I love what I had written… and it just feels stolen when it is unceremoniously deleted and not saved 

I have been trying everything to save them …..First I tried to wait until I was finished writing… and when working the essay for 9/11 I was in the middle of correcting it before it logged me out and didn’t save one single word!  wait actually it did save  a portion of what I had written….. it almost seems like it is doing it on purpose….. did anyone ever see Larry David.. when someone  almost snapped off his nose…. anyway… so lets try it for the third time this evening … it is now midnight… and no saved blog entries from 10 or 11 pm… but when I started to first write at 9:45pm… the first few words were saved….  strange don’t you think?… in case it gets lost i will write a brief outline…here goes

 1. blogs are disappearing … cant save them… help! feel like Carrie Bradshaw in sex in the city… when she lost her words… computer crashed
on phone with tec. person concerning disk space… and now problem is worse… thought photo album would change disk space… next tec person… had me delete copies of my website Anyone know if that will fix the problem?   
2.  tried saving  before editing but didn’t work ..  lost 3 entries already today! today and on Sept 11 Th so many spelling errors and typos will exist until I can get to correct them … old key board and keys stick….. painful to type really…
3. miss writing… need passion in life… creativity… art classes… working with great designer for CEO of Burberry…. work within  passion dad philosophy isn’t work… fun life when you have passion …. great and loving dad ….school in France dad…
4. mom travel business woman working overseas starting business in county where couldn’t even drive amazing woman/ taught me all is possible
5. disagree that  hardship… and torment or horrid experiences make you stronger..or gives you character 
6.  living safe country… Saudi Arabia … growing up in ARAMCO community … no crime capital punishment allowed me opportunity to flourish… without worry amazing childhood! 
7.  song… who made you king of anything...?  written by whom?  insert song… 
8.  people are better.. and more of who they are  when they are allowed to not only be them selves but become the best of them selves… “be all you can be” ……
 
its now 12:14 am… on phone with tec person until 3am… very tired!  and very disappointing … not being able to write…  and save …