I am sorry to report… two years of praying to St.Jude for protection from harm… for  a huge financiel miracle… well no prayes were answered no miracles occured…. 

I am a bit frustrated… and very disapponted…. in these past 8 years…. in a lot of horrible expereinces that it should have never had to go through… and of the friends and family members who not only haven’t contacted me..or helped me… but have pretty much abandoned me…  
 
yes i am frustrated…. and disappointed…. and yes  probably everyone and their brother prays for  some sort of miracle.. at at one point in time i had people trying to convince me that not evreyone gets a miracle… or that these  really stupid incidents were miracles… like having to deal with a crook  and a screwed up mortgage… and a broker who stole $3000.00 ( in some twisted way they were trying to convicne me that is a miracle…  Not my idea of a miracle…  )

defination of a miracle:

anyway…. its not like i  was delusional  and thought that god himself was going  to  come down from some clouds… and  banish all the bad people using a lightening rod or anythng….  I just thought that some really wonderful blessings … would actually occur and woudl occur without  anyone threatening me.. or scaring me.. or  harming me or my life…

and   these miracles … would be real… not  some made up story  trying to explainaway another horrible experience…. with some lies and twists….. not some freak who is narrating an even or tryingto predict the events outcome… like anidiot who thinks they are an actor.. or some  freak who thinks they can manipulate a life …my life and   then not be responsible for the aftermath… the consequences….  

I known some or most of  the idiots (the bullies… and  girls who were lying… and/are  stealing babysitting jobs or just manipulating things ….  )   the same peole i had to deal with  on the phone who don’t always have my best interest at heart…  
I’m just tired of them  “winning”…..( go ask karen kahel.. or any of the mean girls… what it must feel liek to bully and to ruin rlives and businesses…. and they call it winning…)

I guess I thought God was supposed to be bigger than that….  bigger than a hacker  who steals phoen messges… or a thief who seal files… for a busines… or an idenity  theif who steals clothes or jewlery…. 

 that God wasn’t some wealthy guy or girl or family who actully had to “sponser your life”…. ( that  is how it feels now.. that unless you have money and soembody who approves of your actions .. you really don’t  get anythng you want ..it doesnt matter how much you work.. what choices you make.. people will make decisions  based on what they want  your life to be like… and then you have to deal with the consequences… 

for example… i dislike Walmart.. and mc donalds.. and other businesses… and i had a fake mom on the phone… basically  giving a play by play of her directions using the plaes i dilike as lanmarks.. as if she were marketing those establishments.. and as if me or my family actully go to those establishments….  whcih i dont like… then i get this really poor family on the phone who does like mc donalds… or whatever… its like in the truman show..when the wife  was trying to sell these products by using them…. it’s  freaky and unnatural.. and seems so fake…..

also…. by putting someone thorugh hell ( I unfortunately became the peson who was somehow chosen to go through hell…. )  then i am supposed to just bounce  back and not only pretend that it never happend or affected my life… but i am supposed to “deal with it”  and figure out how to fix the mess they made… So where is God in all of this… . he seems to be absent… his blessings seem to go to anyone who can steal them… or lie and cheat and steal….  because being honest hasn’t helped me one bit.. telling the truth.. working hard.. and  planing for a great future.. nope… no miracles…. when you are acutlly telling the truth….  and praying for them… or expecting them ….it goes to someone younger.. prettier.. thinnner.. and who can manipulate lives…. or who can steal without it bothering them…  what a shame…. i actually thought i coudl give this big testimony… of how God answers prayers…   how having faith for 8 years… and prayeing a St Jude novena for two years actully will work eventually  it will owrk… but i am really sorry to say … i cannot… as o ftoday.. i can not… this real life… average perosn.. can honestly say…. that i will still be going to court to try to make  sure i keep my home….. this tuesday… then going through more hell after that… so much  for positive thinking .. prayers.. and God’s miracles….  

i guess althe negative people were rigt…. and I guess i was right.. i didnt matter…..     


and if that is true.. then there really isn’t a god… just a bunch of people who  use people like puppets….  and if that is the case.. what the hell have i been dong praying to a being that might not even exist? Who doesn’t   seem to answer prayers… and who doesn’t even  seem to care one way or another….   

I mean did mark zuckerberg ( facebook)  pray to  God?  or
 Bill Gates did he pray? or what about Warren buffet? …. Does anyone know if he prays? I havent really heard that anyof the billionaires actualy prayed… they just  became succcessful  perhaps without  having  to pray.. so what exactly  does prayer do?  

no priests I have spoken to lately have  told me of examples of miracles happening though prayer…  i meet a lot of mesed up people who pray… and  people who have problems who pray…. but the really succesful  happy people…. who have more  than enough of everythng… do they have to pray?  

Does anyone have any real answeres?

to end this blog on a positve and funny note….  the joel osteen  joke was funny today….  about a catholic school ( i thnk) anyway there was a lunch line…  and a nun had written  a note on the bowl of apples… ( jsut take one…God is watching) ..further down the lunch line a child had writen a note on the choc. chip cookies…. take all you want.. God is watching the apples…. HA!